What to Know About Helping Your Baby Self-Soothe
When your little one is able to soothe themselves to sleep – it’s a pretty big deal! It opens the doors for your baby (and you!) to get more restful sleep. But teaching baby to self-soothe can be a bit more challenging than you think… especially if you turn to the internet for answers, which is full of conflicting advice! So, what do you really need to know about helping your little self-soothe?
First of all, what is self-soothing? In the past, self-soothing had been associated with allowing babies to cry it out, AKA the extinction method, but that’s not the case. Self-soothing is actually when your baby is able to fall asleep, or return to sleep after waking, all on their own with little or no crying. Some babies learn to self-soothe naturally as they get older, but there are ways to teach them too.
Tips for Helping Your Baby Self-Soothe
Every baby is different, and their ability to self-soothe may depend on their age, temperament, and sleep environment. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to helping your little start self-soothing, but there are five tips to help make the process as quick and easy as possible.
Give them five minutes
It is completely normal for babies to wake-up and stir throughout the night, and sometimes parents can intervene too quickly during a wake-up that might have simply been a quick transition from one sleep cycle to the next.
So, unless there’s an emergency that requires your immediate attention, try giving your little a minimum of five minutes in the crib before responding to their fussing or crying. During these five minutes, pay attention to baby’s movements and sounds. If they’re just cooing, soft crying, or simply making noises – it’s not quite time to intervene.
However, if your little does end up getting worked up and starts crying hard without any pauses or breaks, then it’s time to go in and comfort them.
Soothe baby in their crib (without picking them up)
Again, unless there is an emergency or your baby clearly needs a diaper/outfit change, you want to first try to soothe them in their crib, without picking her up. Believe it or not, this is a super important part of teaching your baby to self-soothe!
You can comfort your little by rubbing their belly, replacing their pacifier, repositioning them, reswaddling them, shushing in their ear, singing to them, etc.
Keep in mind, if your usual method of comforting your little does involve picking them up, they won’t be very happy about this change. Your baby is going to want what they’re used to; just remember this is a new skill and it’s going to take time to get good at it.
Don’t let your little get overtired
An overtired baby will have a much harder time self-soothing and falling asleep! When your little gets overtired, every change in their environment becomes very stressful and they have a more challenging time regulating their emotions – which often makes being able to self-soothe out of the question.
You can minimize the tears by helping your little find their perfect sleep window. If getting overtired by bedtime is pretty routine for your little, move bedtime a bit earlier – even if it’s just 15 minutes; this should make it easier for them to fall asleep on their own without any help.
Create a dark, quiet sleep environment
A dark, quiet sleep environment actually supports your little in learning how to self-soothe. It helps cut out distractions that keep them awake. They’re also more likely to stay asleep without being woken up by noises or bright light.
When it’s dark, it helps them make that transition from one sleep cycle to the next because when they do have a brief awakening and open their eyes and scan the environment, they are more likely to roll right back into the next sleep cycle.
And if you’re concerned your little one is afraid of the dark or may have bad dreams, don’t. Those bad dreams and fears don’t come into play until after 2 years of age.
Be consistent!
Consistency is key in helping your little learn a new skill – like self-soothing! Staying consistent in bedtime, sleep routine, how you comfort them, not picking them up, etc., help them understand and adapt to the specific cues that mean it’s time for bed. Remember, self-soothing is a skill your little has to learn, and it make take some time, but if you stay consistent and have some patience, and support them, it’ll happen sooner than later.
If you’ve been giving your little the chance to practice self-soothing for a couple of weeks and they’re still struggling, we can offer some extra help! Schedule a FREE 15-minute phone consultation with us now! (Or drop us your questions on Instagram – @healthylittlesleepers!)