Sleep Training Twins (and Multiples)
Two babies mean double the love – but also, double the work, in most cases! Coming home with a single baby is hard enough… and when you have more than one the challenges are even greater. Sleep training twins (or triplets, or quadruplets!), so they can be on the same sleep schedule is something a lot of new parents want to tackle ASAP, since syncing their nap time and bedtime routines can mean more shut-eye for everyone. And while sleep training multiples can be a bit more of a challenge, it’s definitely not impossible!
Parents of twins and multiples often assume that their babies’ sleep problems are different or need to be treated differently than singletons. But the process of falling asleep is something that each twin needs to learn themself; sleep and sleep problems are actually no different.
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Tips for sleep training twins and multiples
Before we start, there is one big thing that needs to be said: Even as babies, your twins are two completely different people. Just as they will have different interests and talents when they get older, their paths to sleep training might be different too.
1. Treat each baby as an individual
One baby may sleep more hours and the other may give up nighttime feedings sooner. One may play quietly when awake at night and the other may do everything they can to wake the other one up. It’s not uncommon for one baby to be the stronger sleeper, and that’s nothing to stress about! Celebrating their individuality and knowing that each one will develop on their own timeline is key to making sleep training run smoothly.
2. Try keeping your babies’ routines and schedules within a few minutes of each other
Even though it’s important to treat your littles as individuals, you do want them to have similar routines and schedules – trust me, it’ll help make things so much easier for you. You can start by feeding your twins at the same time. If one little starts showing sleepy cues, get them both ready for sleep; if one wakes up from a nap, let the other sleep just a little bit longer, but then you want to get them up too.
Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that twins sleep on separate surfaces to help protect them from SIDS. You can put them down for sleep simultaneously as long as they're not in the same crib or on the same sleep surface.
3. Have a solid bedtime routine in place
You can start a solid bedtime routine from the time your twins are newborns! (A healthy sleep foundation is different from sleep training, BTW.) Start using a bedtime routine from day one, and it will let your babies know it is time to sleep. Your routine doesn’t need to be drawn out or complicated either; it can be as simple as feeding, diaper change, cuddles and a story, then bed.
Answers to the most common sleep training questions
While the basics of sleep training are the same whether you’re trying to get a singleton, twins, or triplets to snooze, there are some questions that are specific to sleep training multiples. Here are some of the ones we get the most.
What do you do when one wakes from a nap before the other?
I know it’s a bummer to purposely wake a peacefully sleeping baby, but if you don’t, you’ll be playing metaphorical ping pong, going back and forth and back and forth, with your littles all day – and no one will get healthy sleep at that point! Making sure they wake up around the same time helps them to be hungry and then sleepy at the same time too.
Once sleep is together, there is some wiggle room here. If one twin wakes from a nap earlier than the other, you can get them up from the nap and let the other sleep until the wake or until it’s time to get up from that nap. Then you’ll want to put them down for the next nap (or bedtime) at the developmentally appropriate time – together. Yes, that means one twin will be up longer than the other, and that is a-ok.
Should I separate them during the process?
If your end goal is to have your twins share a room, then it’s really great to sleep train them together, especially if they’ve already been sharing the same space and are used to it. Keep in mind, however, that in most sets of multiples, there’s often one who’s a better sleeper than the other (especially if they’re fraternal twins). And even if your twins end up displaying similar sleep patterns, there will likely be nights when your babies will wake each other up.
But, if you’re finding that one of your twin’s sleep is getting super disrupted because of the other twin, they may need to be temporarily separated until they both are sleeping well, and then return them to the same room.
How can I get my twins on the same schedule?
While we touched on routines above for the tips, one additional trick is to make sure that they are awake in the morning within about 30 minutes of each other. This will help coordinate their first morning nap at the same time. So, if one twin is waking at 6:30am, we want to wake the other one by 7:00am, and ideally feed them at the same time. Then they will both be ready to go down for their first nap at the same time.
Don’t think that because you have twins that sleep training will take longer – that’s not often the case. But if it is, take heart, your babies will soon be snoozing like champs… together! Promise.
Support during sleep training is critical, and because sleep training multiples can be a little trickier, you may want some extra support – and we’re here to help! If you have any questions about sleep training or want some support in setting up a healthy sleep foundation for your little ones, you can schedule a FREE 15-minute call with me! Click here to schedule a time for us to chat!