How to Teach Kids Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the healthiest emotions that humans can practice. And the sooner you start teaching your kiddos about gratitude, the better! Plus, the upcoming holidays are the perfect time to really focus on teaching your kids this important life lesson – that will last well past the season!
I got the low-down from Eri Nakagami, PhD, LCSW on how to teach kiddos gratitude and why it’s so important. She’s a family therapist on our Healthy Little Sleepers team and has been working with kids, adults, couples, and families for over 20 years!
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Why gratitude is important for kids
Gratitude can help children nurture relationships, develop greater social support, and strengthen their resilience. And when a child is resilient, they’re better able to have a happier, more satisfied, connected life, and a higher sense of purpose.
Children who practice gratitude regularly are benefited by:
Improved brain health, physical health and mental wellbeing
Better sleep (woohoo!!)
A longer lifespan
Stronger empathy, compassion, and self-esteem
Reduced stress, aggression, worry, and pain
Increased happiness
Research also shows that, in general, thankful people are usually more optimistic. They’re also less depressed and stressed. So, when we teach our children to appreciate what they have, and what others do for them, we are helping them become happier, healthier adults down the line too.
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Kids’ developmental readiness for understanding gratitude
Gratitude, empathy, and compassion are abstract concepts that are hard to teach children – especially toddlers and preschoolers. (Heck, these skills are difficult to practice and master even for adults!) Younger kids are naturally self-focused but as they grow with gratitude, they become more understanding of the needs and feelings of others.
In fact, six year olds or younger only show appreciation 20% of the time when they are given things. The good news is that that percentage can increase to 80% or more as they grow older.
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How to teach gratitude to kids
It’s important for us, as parents and caretakers, to teach gratitude in a way that relates to our littles. Here are a few tips (from Eri!) on how to help our kids understand and learn how to practice gratitude.
Model gratitude. Parents can be great teachers by demonstrating a positive attitude and practicing gratitude! You can set an example by saying “thank you” or writing thank you notes to people when they give you a gift.
Give back to others often. Encourage your kiddos to help others by giving – and not just donating toys or clothes but also giving their time. You can do this by volunteering as a family, cooking a meal for loved ones, or buying or creating gifts for others.
Tell your kids why you are grateful for them. Finally, affirm your little’s progress by specifically pointing out how they’re improving and thanking your kids for their actions. For example, if your child helped you add ingredients when making dinner, say something like, “Thank you for making my work easier by adding the ingredients for me.” Being specific helps kids see the value in helping others and do their best in other activities.
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Fun ways to practice gratitude with kids
Another way to teach your kiddos about gratitude is by creating daily gratitude rituals and activities! Here are a few fun (and easy) ideas:
Gratitude tree: This is something my family started doing this year! Every night, we each write down something we’re thankful for and hang it on a small tree (you can do a branch too) that sits on our table. You can use strips of folded paper or even gift tags. And as the tree fills up, you end up with a decoration for the house too!
Gratitude flowers: Draw a flower on a big piece of paper (or, depending on your child’s age, have them paint one themselves); and on each petal, help them write one thing they are thankful for. You can create an entire garden of gratitude!
Gratitude walk + rocks: This one’s a double whammy! First, take a walk with your kiddo out in nature and spend some time expressing thankfulness about what you’re experiencing (warm sun, pretty flowers, beautiful birds). While you’re out walking, start collecting smooth rocks to take home with you and paint with words or pictures of gratitude. Your little can keep them in their room, in a jar, or even hide them out in public for other people to come across.
Gratitude jar: You can actually buy this on Amazon – which makes things a ton easier! These little kits come with a jar and a few cards so your family can write what you’re each thankful for. Once the jar is filled, you can all read back the things you wrote and appreciate them all over again.
Gratitude books: Teaching gratitude takes patience, and littles need constant reinforcement. Reading books about gratitude and kindness will help them better recognize those behaviors even when you’re not with them.
It’s safe to say we can all use a bit of practice when it comes to gratitude. Teaching your kids will give you better practice too! And watching them get better and better at being kind, gracious, thankful little kids will mean there’s even more to be grateful for! 😉
Eri’s here to help you navigate all the ups and downs that come with parenting – the love, frustration, joy, annoyance, gratification, depression, amazement, anxiety, guilt, and on and on! She can also help you feel better and more confident, have more clarity, and add more tools to raise your little ones. Want to know how she can help you and your family? Book a free initial call with Eri by clicking here!